Week 18 – 52 Ancestor Challenge – Close Up – Nights with MamMaw


Alta Leona Driver
MamMaw
1903-1998

I grew up in the town where my ancestors settled in 1875.  By the time I was 18, my two older sisters and my maternal grandmother were living on the same block that we grew up on.  I can’t count the times someone has asked me, “How does your family live so close together?”  That’s an easy one, we’re all to busy to get in each other’s way.

MamMaw moved two houses down when I was in my teens.  I remember many late nights talking with her and listening to her tell stories about the family.  She had an old trunk that had belonged to her mother and there were all kinds of treasures inside.  There was a boxed brush and comb set, her and Grandpa’s marriage license, a child’s depression glass cup and saucer that she got on the church Christmas tree when she was a little girl, old letters, receipts, photographs, etc.  I loved looking through the items she kept inside.  I remember one time that she couldn’t find the key and even as I told her, begged her actually, not to break the lock, she grabbed a screw driver and broke it open.  She was extremely headstrong.

She would sit for hours and tell me about how she and her cousin Ida slipped off to see my Grandpa off at the train station near the end of World War I.  Just before he was to board the train, they got word the war was over.  She talked about going to taffy-pulls, and getting out of sight of home and taking her shoes off to walk to school.

One of my favorite stories was about her dropping a “dead” wasp down the back of a girls high-top boot at school one day.  The girl was sitting so that her boot tops were away from her leg and when she straightened up, the wasp stung her and the fight was on.

MamMaw loved to watch Saturday Night Wrestling and many weekends I would walk down to her house and we’d drink Coca-Cola out of little glass bottles and watch the Von Erichs.


Norma Louise, Alta, Mary Ruth (my Momma) Grantham in the 30s

She was contrary to say the least.  I asked her sisters once if my Grandpa dying when she was only 27 and leaving her with two small daughters had made her the way she was, perpetually unhappy.  They responded with a resounding “NO, she was always that way, no one ever understood what your Grandpa saw in her because he was such a sweet man.”  I had to laugh, you can’t argue with the truth.

As cantankerous and contrary as she could be, she could turn right around and be the kindest, most thoughtful person ever.  I didn’t like peanuts until a few years ago and every year when she made peanut brittle she would pour some of the candy out with no nuts, just for me.  She knew how much I loved peach cobbler with lots of crust and no peaches, just juice, she had a small pan that she would fix me cobbler in, just the way I liked it.

I’m thankful for the time I got to spend with her, for the visits to cemeteries and the hours of talking about the family.  I’m grateful that she never kept secrets about the history of our family. She told me that it was important for me to know everything about our family, even the skeletons.  She told me “secrets” that she made me swear not to reveal until everyone involved had passed, but she made sure that they were preserved and handed down so that they weren’t lost with time.

I’m thankful for the time I got to spend “Close Up”, just the two of us, talking until the wee hours of the morning, for her always having orange juice in a glass carafe in her refrigerator, for knowing what “faunching at the bit” means, for being fortunate enough to have inherited many of the treasures that were in her trunk, for her fruitcake recipe and “gut gravy” aka giblet gravy, and for the mental picture she painted of “having a runaway” when she decided to spray whiskey up her nose to cure a sinus infection.

 

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Whispers from the Past…..

Week 14 – 52 Ancestor Challenge – The Maiden Aunt or Bachelor Uncle

Uncle Albert by Lu’s fig bush at Bunger, Texas

Albert Ichabod Driver, Uncle Albert, died in 1951, 11 years before I was born.  While I never knew him, I’ve heard about him all my life.

Albert was the oldest son of John and Weltha Driver, born in 1871, he was only two years old when his family left the Nacogdoches, Texas area and headed West.  In 1874, the little family settled in Parker County near the town of Weatherford, where Albert’s younger brother, Henry, was born, near Long Creek.  In 1875, the family moved again, this time to the little town of Graham, where they would spend the rest of their lives.

Etta Cunningham

As a young man, Albert was engaged to a girl named Etta Cunningham.  Albert suffered from asthma and fearing he’d be a burden to her, he eventually broke their engagement.  His brother, Henry, went with her for a while but he met Louise Smith while visiting their Mother’s family in the Coleman area and married her.

In the early 1930s, oil was discovered on the family’s land, a few miles South of Graham.  Albert’s mother, Weltha, was a frugal woman, the family had lived through lean times and she believed in patching the patches on her clothes to make them last longer.  I’ve often wondered if this was because of an incident where a cow ate her new dress on their journey West…..  Albert and his sister-in-law, Louise, would do the laundry and would “hang Weltha’s worn out dress up in the ringer” then they would pull back and forth until the dress was beyond repair.  This was force Weltha to start wearing a new dress instead of “saving it.”

Albert never married and spent a good deal of his life farming with and looking after his parents.  He cared for them until their deaths.  Anytime I’ve heard relatives speak of Uncle Albert, the fondness is apparent in their voice.  His appearance was kindly and warm.  Many times I have thought about how his life might have been different if he would have had access to the modern miracle of rescue inhalers.

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Whispers from the Past…..

Week 10 – 52 Ancestor Challenge – Strong Woman – My Momma

“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

It is nearly impossible to choose one woman in my family to write about when you are referring to a strong woman.  I come from many women of strength and courage.

My Momma, was raised by her widowed mother in the 1930s.  Her childhood shaped her in many ways but one of the things that stands out most in my mind is her will.  I’ve seen Momma literally “will” things to happen where her family was involved.  Momma was a single mother of three in the 50s, this created a bond, a dynamic between her and her three oldest children that went deeper than any other relationship I’ve ever witnessed.  I was her baby and as such, I got away with more than the older kids.  When I was about 12, she and Daddy went to Hawaii, when I was 39 Momma passed away and we discovered the letters she had written to each of us.  Even in death, Momma found a way to make sure her babies knew we were loved and in her typical style, she had also given each of us instructions as to what she expected for and from us.

She loved her children with her whole heart and wanted us to have better lives than she had.  It was important to her that we be children as long as possible because “adult life” came way too soon.  She made sure we got to sleep late in Summer, read every chance we got, play and just be kids.  Momma was determined that each of us would be able to stand on our own feet if anything happened to her and that we knew and believed that we could do anything or be anything we wanted, we just had to work for it.  She often said that she thought she might have gone a little overboard in the self-confidence area where my brother and I were concerned.  No matter what was going on in her life, her children and grandchildren were her treasures on earth and the most dangerous thing anyone could do was to hurt one of her babies.

I remember always knowing that Momma was there for me, no matter what I needed or what was going on in my life.  She was a literal “force to be reckoned with” when it came to her family.  Momma’s children respected her and loved her and we each knew that we were her greatest pleasure in her earthly life.  Momma prayed over us daily and she believed, without a doubt that God would always take care of us because He had promised her He would.  She was a fierce defender of each of us and the foundation upon which we have built our lives.

While I could have chosen any  number of women in my family to write about this week, there was never really another choice.  Momma was the anchor in our lives, the calm in the storm, the sweetness of love in it’s purest form, a mother’s love for her children.

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Whispers from the Past…..

Week 9 – 52 Ancestor Challenge – Where There’s A Will, There’s A Codicil

     “Where there’s a will, there are 500 relatives…..”

The Will of Giles Driver, Jr. offers a window into the dynamic of his family. Giles is very detailed in how he disposes of his estate, in some cases right down to the penny. He was specific regarding the circumstances surrounding who received what and the conditions that had to be met to receive the inheritance.  Two notes here – this is not an exact transcription as far as spelling and there are a few words that I couldn’t make out, thus the blanks. Where you see bold text, I have added information for clarification.

Will of Giles Driver, Jr

Pike County, Georgia – Record of Wills, Volume C-D, 1844-1912, Page 492

19 July 1869

In the name of God Amen.  I Giles Driver of said State and County being of advanced age and knowing that I myself must shortly depart from this life, deem it right and proper, both as respects myself and family, that I should make a disposition of the property with which a kind Providence has blessed me. I therefore make this my last Will and Testament hereby revoking and annulling all others made by me heretofore.

Item 1st – I desire that my body be buried in a decent and Christian like manner, suitable to my circumstance and condition, but nothing unnecessary about it. My soul I hope and trust shall return to rest with God who gave it, as I hope for eternal Salvation through the blessed Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Item 2nd – I desire and direct that all my just debts be paid by my Executors hereinafter named.

Item 3rd – I have given to my daughter Sarah R who intermarried with Charles B Hubble one thousand and thirty five dollars in cash, she leaving no child at her death my wish is for said Hubble to have no more interest in my estate whatever.

Item 4th – My wish and desire is for my youngest son Charles G to have one hundred dollars extra and more than the balance of my children this difference is made because he has not received his due proportion of education.

Item 5th – I give and bequeath to my wife, Mary, all the property that she was possessed of at the time of our marriage, to do with as she may think proper at her death. I also desire that three hundred dollars be laid out in hand of which she is to have full control during her natural life or widowhood but at her death or marriage for the lands to return to my estate and to be equally divided among my children or their children as the case may then be.

At this point in the will is a note “See Marriage Contract”. The placement is such that I don’t know if he is referring to his third wife, Mary M Carson, or to his son, Julius W, who is the subject of Item 6.

Item 6th – I throw (?) this restriction and qualification around the property or effects that may fall to my son Julius W, that is, it is not to be subject to any of his debts or contracts now made or hereafter made, but he is to use it for his support and benefit and that of his family and at his death to be equally divided among his children but his present wife and the Serepta Ann Rebecca Reeves wife neither of them is to have any interest in my estate or its increase whatever at the death of my son Julius W Driver I make this difference because he is divorced from the Reeves wife and I understand that the father of his present wife Sarah E Hogan intends to make a similar will.

Item 7th – My will and desire is for my Grandson Giles L Driver and my grand daughter Sarah F Driver (children of Julius W Driver and his 1st wife, Frances Jane Ussery) each to have one hundred dollars to be retained in the hands of my executors until these children become of age or marry. These amounts to be retained out of the portion falling to their Father.

Item 8th  – If any of my children die before or after me and have a child or children such child or children to draw their parents interest in my estate under this will.

Item 9th – I hereby put this condition and qualification upon the property or its effects that may be received by each of my children (to wit) if any of them die and leave no living or posthumous child then the property or its effects falling to such child to return to my estate and to be equally divided among all my children or their children as the case may there be in the manner herein specified for division observing the restrictions and qualifications in this will

Item 10th – My wish and desire is that each of my children that have not had a bed bedstead and furniture to have one after paying off all my just debts for each child to draw an equal share of my estate both real and personal, not counting (?) any old debts against any of them, observing the restrictions, qualifications and differences in this will

Item 11th – I have given my two sons Julius W and Robert P each a mule and each mule valued at one hundred and forty one dollars, sixty six cents, each of them have an extra cow which must be valued. I also paid Doyal & Nunnally fifty eight dollars for Julius ___ for cotton, twenty one dollars _____ due for that Thirty seven dollars these amounts I want counted against them without interest

Item 12th – I constitute and appoint my two sons Alonzo C Driver and James L Driver my lawful

Executors to this my last Will and Testament this 19 July 1869

Giles added a codicil that included the following –

First – Whereas I have understood that my son Julius W Driver intends to claim some property that he was in possession of at the time when he broke up house keeping and separated from his second wife Serepta Ann Rebecca Reeves and whereas I feel satisfied that I have fully compensated him for said property. Now if he claims said property and continues to contend for it then I want the five hundred dollars that I handed him when he started out to California counted against him without interest but if he relinquishes his claim to said property I want the will to be carried out without this codicil so far as he is concerned

Second – In lieu of the one hundred dollars mentioned in the fourth Item of my will to my youngest Charles G my wish is to alter it to Two hundred and twenty five dollars

Third – I also want my son James L to have two hundred and twenty five dollars These last two Items they are to have before there is any division made

Fourth – I want my wife Mary M Carson to have the bedstead and mattress that we lie on in lieu of her bedstead that she sold when she came here

Fifth – There is due from A C Driver Two hundred and twenty five dollars for his mare without interest

Sixth – My wish and desire is for the portion falling to my daughter Synthia E Pryor for her and her husband to have the use and benefits of the proceeds of the property but her present or future husband not to be allowed to trade off any of the property neither to be subject to any of his debts or contracts now or hereafter made the said property is to be exclusively for my daughter Synthia E and her children

Seventh – This I think will make my children as near equal as I can fix it


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Whispers from the Past……