I have 1000s of photos after 48 years of researching my family. I LOVE pictures. Dates, facts, and events are all wonderful and necessary; without them, there would be no skeleton and no foundation. Pictures bring all the dry and dusty bones to life.
While I have some unusual and beautiful photos, one stands out as special every time I see it. My daddy was never really interested in what I found out about his family. He would listen to my discoveries and then go on about his business. Unlike my momma, he didn’t get excited. Not long before he died, his interest grew, and we started spending more time talking about his side of the family. He shared stories I had never heard, shocked me with some revelations, which is hard to do, and left me with some mysteries to solve.
I printed all the pictures I had found of his relatives, not many compared to Momma’s family, and took them to him after writing on each of them who they were and how they were related to him.
Nancy Yarbrough Moseley 1804-1888
All my life, I’ve heard the words, “You’re James’s little girl; you look just like him!” It’s true that the genes are strong. I didn’t realize how strong they are until I found a picture of my paternal/maternal 4th great-grandmother, Nancy Yarbough.
After I showed this picture to Daddy, he showed it to everyone who came through his door and said,
I’m missing a couple of generations, but I bet it’s pretty safe to say that the resemblance is strong. So, while I have many other pictures that are funnier, more interesting, more “beautiful”, none of them make me smile quite like the one of my Daddy, “before he got his hair cut.”
I remember when I first started hearing about DNA testing for genealogy purposes. That was well over 20 years ago and prohibitively expensive. By the time I took my first of six tests in 2012, the price was under $200, now you can test for as little as $49. In a few short weeks you can be viewing matches to your genetic make up from databases with tens of millions of testers.
It’s taken me ten years to get a decent handle on understanding the different tests and the results that I received. For years I wasn’t getting the most from my results, but that’s finally starting to change as I’ve taken classes and watched webinars that explain how I inherited 50% of Momma’s DNA and 50% of Daddy’s and how the same holds true for each of them and their parents, so with each generation certain genetics are lost.
There’s a saying that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in awhile. Well, that’s kind of what happened in 2016.
Momma had passed before testing was readily available and affordable to the consumer, and I almost waited too long to get Daddy to do it. In April I had him do a 23andMe® test. We had a fun time collecting his spit sample since he had extreme dry mouth, but he was a trooper. We sent in the sample and waited. While we waited, he talked. Daddy had never been much to talk about family history. Any time I made a new discovery on his line he was politely interested and that was about it. Maybe the fact that he was dying made him open up, who knows. He told me about places he had lived, about his mother’s second husband and how they had “hoed cotton so she could divorce him” and how she remarried him five days later. We looked at the few pictures I have of his ancestors and discussed who looked alike and which ones we favored.
Finally, the results came in and I was puzzled and confused. Daddy got a “match” that he had a 1st cousin, what confused me is that I got the same match on my test, also as a first cousin.
So there’s a cool little tool that helps you figure out possible relationships based on the amount of DNA you share with a person.
Daddy
Susan
1064 cM
611 cM
Great-Grandparent
Great-Aunt / Uncle
Half Aunt / Uncle
1C
Half Niece / Nephew
Great-Niece / Nephew
Great-Grandchild
Great-Great-Aunt / Uncle
Half Great-Aunt / Uncle
Half 1C
1C1R
Half Great-Niece / Nephew
Great-Great-Niece / Nephew
I thought I knew all of Daddy’s nieces and nephews and my first cousins, there weren’t that many, but here was a flashing neon sign saying I was wrong. So, I sent a message and waited for 13 LONG days for this reply, “I was surprised that we could be 1st cousin’s! I’m wondering if it could be from my dad’s side, of which I know nothing, as he was adopted.”
We quickly exchanged several more messages and then – “I’m scanning some newspaper clippings and found a letter that had my dad’s mother’s name listed…Edna Hamill. She was a cotton picker, 19 years old. Does that sound familiar?”
James Coleman BlackGeorge Hooker Deer
Twelve short days before he passed away, Daddy discovered he had an older brother. Nineteen year-old Edna Hamil, her mother and 14 year-old sister were picking cotton, 200 miles from home. Edna gave birth to George whom she gave the name, Ben Milam. Thirteen days later, Edna left her baby on a doorstep just 19 miles from where she lived with her family. Ninety-one years later, DNA revealed one of the many skeletons in my grandmother’s closet. Sadly, George had passed away eight years prior to me finding him.
Daddy was able to speak to his newly found niece, by phone, before he died and I got to meet my new cousin a couple of days later. The week after we discovered George was one of the most enlightening times of my life. For the first time since I had started researching his family, Daddy talked, a lot.
I believe that George was waiting to welcome his little brother when Daddy passed over. What a reunion that must have been.
I encourage anyone who is thinking about taking a DNA test to do so, quickly. Sure you may have unexpected results, but who cares. It’s all about finding out who you are and who else shares a part of that.
Unlike my Grandma Edna, my MamMaw was very open and willing to tell me everything she knew about the family. She always told me that it didn’t matter what anyone had done who came before, that wasn’t on me. I did however need to know all about my kinfolk because each and every one of them made me who I am.
No matter how hard you try to keep the door closed, sooner or later those “family skeletons” will come tumbling out of the closet. I’ve seen over and over where a “closely guarded” secret was actually a matter of public record.
Don’t miss out on opportunities to know your family. You may not have a single surprise, but then again, you may have a glorious adventure waiting just a “spit” away.
AncestryDNA® – my recommendation if you’re only going to take one
There’s a saying that even a blind squirrel finds a nut every once in awhile. Well, that’s kind of what happened in 2016.
No matter how hard you try to keep the door closed, sooner or later those “family skeletons” will come tumbling out of the closet. I’ve seen over and over where a “closely guarded” secret was actually a matter of public record.